Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Circle of Magic- Chapter 2, part 2

Goddammit, I'm still only halfway through the chapter, and it's only 13 pages long.


*le sign*


Anyways, we pick up again after the cut to find Niko and Briar a few days into their journey to Other Temple Winding Circle. Briar is being a brat, refusing to take a bath because "that stuff's not good for you". Niko is pretty obstinate about him taking the bath however, because Heaven forbid the boy who's lived in a sewer all his life be a little whiffy. When Briar contemplates the bathtub just a little too long, Niko has hired thugs come in and forcibly bathe him. Just like Momma did!
Fear my GIFs.

After Briar's lovely bath(I will never stop.), he and Niko sit down to a wonderful, rich feast, and Niko says offhandedly that feeding Briar would get too expensive if he has to keep paying the thugs to bathe him.

Niko... isn't very good with children, is he? I mean, he's written as this benevolent, wise, old thirty something, who just... keeps choosing the option that lets him be a huge ass for the good of the children... I would say that these kids would grow up messed up just for that, but in a couple of series/books/years they come in and they are so messed up it makes all my jokes retroactively not funny. (Although that might be a good thing, considering all the Niko/Briar I could be pointing out, I mean damn.)

(I think I'll just sink that ship right here actually.
If only to use that GIF.)

In the meantime, Niko taunted Briar with the uprooted plants he had hidden under his bed and tells him of the fancy, new-fangled glasshouse at Winding Circle. Briar becomes oddly willing to travel with Niko, and drinks are shared all around.

-----

In the tag end of the chapter (FINALLY), Tris is....also.... traveling with Niko? Well, it's a good thing some time context is given so this doesn't seem like a big jumbled mess.
Laughing Hermione agrees.

They are on a ship!

Uhhhhhh yeah. They talk about winds being bound in rope by Ethnic Minority Wizards (Won't be important for many more books) and Tris has an encounter with St. Elmo's fire and cares more about looking stupid in front of everyone else and not acting like she cares. It's just... one of those....not really sartirish parts. The chapter itself ends rather sudde

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Circle of Magic 1-Chapter 2

 Unfortunately, due to a combination of school and band, I have not been able to update till now. In case you feel this explanation is not compatible with the dashing swashbuckler you believe me to be, then the truth is that my computer exploded every time it saw my face, and when i fixed it it inexplicably was stuck only able to play portal 2 and facebook games. It was odd, to say the least.

 So far in Sandry's book: Children were abandoned various places, and a Deus Ex Machina Man showed up to save them so often that the author had to make him a seer.

  Now Deus Ex Machina Man Niko the seer has rescued Sandry from her cellar at the end of the last chapter, and in the magical time break between said chapters Sandry has had a few weeks to recover and traveled another couple of weeks to her uncle's house. Sandry's uncle, Duke Vedris, is ruler of Emelan, the country where the majority of the story takes place. According to the map at the front of the book, Emelan is about the size of the US, Which is a rather large leap as there is no way to judge scale and the entire world is joined together in a Pangea-like mass.
Pangea
I have no idea what this world is called, but Emelan is the one with the peninsula

Now, I have to ask, do titles work like that? I mean, this is a ruler in charge of a place about he size of a large country or a slightly smaller continent, and he's only a duke?

Anyways, the duke is perfectly fine with Sandry living there, as he is the kindest and most benevolent of dukes, as evidenced by how little finery he wears, but he is worried that Sandry will be bored. Because his wife is dead and there aren't any children around or parties to go to. Yeah. Niko suggests sending Sandry to the place where all the people in his court send their children, which so happens to be the Temple Briar was sent to and the Other temple Tris was sent to. So Sandry agrees to go to this place away from the only family she's got left, and the kind benevolent duke sends her off with a wave and the feeling that he has done right by Sandry.

Daja is also once again among her people! Luckily for her, they welcome her back with open arms, tearfully reminiscing about her lost famil- No, they totally glare at her menacingly and make dire proclamations about her fate. Her fate to be eternally shunned by her own people. Because she was (un)lucky enough to be the only survivor.

Quote time!

"Prepare yourself for the worst," advised Niko, his eyes kind. "You know they regard lone survivors as the worst kind of luck"

"As in the days when we first carried fire, weaving, and metal to the Non-Traders, the kaqs," said the chief judge, a man, "so it is now. Daja Kisubo, lone survivor of disaster, we declare you to be outcast, the worst kind of bad luck, trangshi. ..."

What.

Where in the world did the caption button go? That was such a useful button....

Okay, so apparently the justification for this is that bad luck is the swine flu/zombie virus, and it leaves some victims just alive enough to make it to your well-fortified/sanitized camp, babble about all the dead left behind, and hide their affliction just long enough to infect people/turn into a zombie and attack everyone else.

Well, Ethnic Minorities don't put up with that 28 days later shit, so apparently survivors of great traumatizing tragedy are to be furthermore traumatized. Therefore, these mentally scarred people are given a nice stick to proclaim their new status to all Ethnic Minorities who happen to see them, a little speech about fate, and a swift kick in the rear out of their homeland, remaining family, and entire way of life. I don't say entire way of life lightly, considering these.... *sigh* ....Trangshi..... are given a nice, plain little walking stick, which they are never, ever to cover in any sort of decoration. Not a big deal, 'till you find out that covering these sticks in pictographs depicting their life story is a huge part of Ethnic Minorities' culture! If an Ethnic Minority sees one of these sticks, they will actively shun the person carrying it, and deny their very existence.

Things which are never considered:

  • Defying culture and putting decorations on the stick anyways ( There's no way for these guys to actually enforce that rule)
  • Pretending not to be an Ethnic Minority and interacting with them anyways
  • NOT TAKING A BLOODY SIX-FOOT WALKING STICK EVERYWHERE YOU GO.
Niko is perturbed at their refusal to go against thousands of years of tradition and culture, and vows to take Daja to the Other Temple, aka "Winding Circle".

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Circle of magic Book1-Part1

Right, savour this cause I've got frickin' BAND CAMP for the next THREE FRICKING WEEKS. FRICK.


The first book opens from Sandry's POV. She is a noble girl with flaxen hair, a petite nose, and the power of HEART. She is locked in a cellar, because the city is overrun by smallpox, her parents just died, and the dead cover the streets; so everyone still alive decides now is the perfect time to form a mob and kill her nurse because she is of an ethnic minority. While everyone was forming a mob to kill a random woman in a random house instead of looting this apparently large and luxurious house, Sandry's nurse locked her in a cellar with a few supplies, hid it with magic, and then tries to draw the mob away which she apparently sucks at because she's killed right outside the door where Sandry can hear everything.
So Sandry sits inside the storeroom with her supplies for a few days, embroidering with her favorite sewing basket that she managed to grab and contemplating the fact that the supplies will last a few weeks but she'll go crazy before those weeks are up and no one will be able to find her and save her. Apparently her nurse didn't think of a way for Sandry to release the spells on the door and get out from the inside, but I forgive, because of mitigating circumstances, i.e. the mob and putting up with Sandry. Then her lamp starts guttering and Sandry realizes she's out of oil and it's dark. She thinks about how Ethnic Minority wizards mages call light into rope and how rope is similar to thread, which she happens to have, and even though she has shown no aptitude for magic at all she figures what the hell and calls the light into the thread. However in order for the light to stay in the thread she has to keep braiding it as long as she's awake, but luckily she has nothing better to do.

Then we switch to Daja, who is adrift on the Pebbled Sea. Don't ask me why the sea is pebbled, I don't know. Daja's a member of the Ethnic Minorities, and her ship sank while on a trading route because the captain  (Daja's mom- All minor to middling positions of authority in these books are given to Women) decided to leave port too early and got hit by a storm. Daja wakes up and immediately starts wondering why her skin had turned white. Her first thought is that an enemy Ethnic Minority mage did it. Sometimes I wonder if Tammy realizes how racist that sounds. Then she realizes that it's just salt (silly Ethnic Minority!), and starts contemplating how her whole family is dead and how she is just adrift on a piece of wood and will also die soon. Then she sees a "survival box" or "suraku" floating just out of reach. She reaches for it, it drifts farther out of reach, and in trying to reach it she exasperating beckons to it like it's a dog. Then her previously unknown magic is like "fine, jeez" and brings the box back so she can grab it. Her reward for discovering that she has a wonderful life of magic ahead of her is three more days of living in a hellhole with no guarantee of a wonderful life of magic because she's still stranded in the middle of a goddamn ocean. She starts bargining with her gods, saying she's still useful, and she can get better at the stuff she's not good at, and then Deus Ex Machina Man shows up on a boat (He can see the fuuuuttuuuure) and is all like "hey do you want a ride?" and Daja's like "weeeelll I'll have to think abouYES I WANT A FRICKING RIDE" and they sail off into the sunset.

Alright, next is Roach, the rogue character a child thief who was cruelly tossed out into an unforgiving world at an early age. He has been caught for the third time stealing in a justice system that works on the three strikes and you're out ideal, (Does that apply to murder, too?) and is in his cell awaiting his trial. He's all lounging on a bed of moss that he's been growing since the first time he was tossed in this cell for a night because the guards keep placing him in the same cell every time, sneaking water to it and sorta talking to it because this was the best foreshadowing to his power Tammy could sneak in. The next day all the little thieves that got caught in Roach's gang are shuttled through an automated trial line, complete with a bored checkout girl/judge. All of the boys who managed not to get caught before now are led off to be forcibly tattooed with an X on the web of their hand, and the boys who have Xs on both hands are brought to the disinterested judge. Roach is eventually brought up to the judge, has the two Xs shown to prove he's a dirty stinking crook, and is about to be assigned to work at the docks when Deus Ex Machina Man, who has of course been sitting next to the judge this whole time (He can see maaaagggiiiiic) requests to have Roach as his boytoy sent to the Temple with Deus Ex Machina Man so he can be reformed. Roach, proving how unreformed he is, considers that the man has money but then looks in his eyes and considers how unfun it would be to rob him.The judge doesn't care, but the scribe says he doesn't want to fill out papers for a Roach, and the man's all, Hey, new name, new start! And so Roach changes his name to Briar Moss, because plants.

Tris, my favourite character, is the last introduced. She is at Other Temple, because her family was creeped out by weather stuff when she gets upset and the magic seer was adamantly saying she had no magic, so her family brought her to the temple and left her there and the temple apparently couldn't refuse to take her in. (Remember, all these characters are ten. Tris is going to have some interesting psych stuff later.) She is placed in a dormitory with other middle-class girls. She lives there for a few weeks. Then, all the girls who have been wronged in some way by her, either because Tris refused to let them cut in front of her or copy her Maths homework (serious examples), start gossiping loudly about how ugly and fat Tris is at night when they're all in their beds and Tris happens to be a few beds over. Tris keeps trying to ignore them but failing until finally a window bursts open and all the girl's possessions are knocked onto the floor except Tris's. When the dedicates in charge of the dormitory burst in and see Tris is the only undisturbed person/thing there, they go "I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE" and make her pack her bags the next day. Then they realize they need a place to send her to, so they try to pass her off on Deus Ex Machina Man, who's just passing through, (H'es really just paaaasssiiiinnng thrrroooouuuugggh). He's all like 'Hell no, I need to get other places' which seems reasonable to me, there might be a puppy in trouble somewhere, and Tris gets mad about being talked about like this and it starts hailing indoors. Deus Ex Machina Man looks at her and is all "you sure you don't have magic?" (apparently he can't actually do all those seer thiiiinnnggs) And Tris is 'pretty fricking sure, yeah'. And Deus Ex Machina Man says "Well, my name is Niko, I'm a seer (He's actually a seeeeeeeer), and I change my mind, we're going on a raodtrip to Temple! We're going to be best buddies!" And Tris glares at him, which she'll be doing a lot.

Then we switch back to Sandry, where she' apparently been doing the braiding thing for a couple weeks. Suddenly! She hears people outside who are arguing about 'here's the door, now pick the lock; I don't see a damn door; it's hidden by magic you idiot; well how am I supposed to pick a lock on a door hidden by magic; fine I'll unspell the door'; and Sandry's sure that she's gone insane now. The door is thrown open, Deus Ex Machina Man Niko introduces himself, and one of the idiots with him shoves a lamp in Sandry's face after she's been in a dark storeroom for weeks. She's blinded.
Chapter Ends.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Decision Time!

Alright! After an overwhelming lack of response,  I have defaulted to the first item on my list, which was: a book by Tamora Pierce. And the book I have chosen from this category is: The Circle of Magic: Sandry's Book.
I have included the Japanese cover because it is awesome.
 
The first book in The Circle of Magic quartet, it introduces us to four powerful young wizards mages. Sandry's Book has always seemed to me the weakest of the first quartet, as Sandry is the most personally annoying character in these books and the plot occasionally comes across as slightly forced. However despite my personal misgivings this is a good book in its own right and in no way should be skipped.
The main characters are four ten-year old children named Sandry, Tris, Daja, and Briar. Tamora Pierce sometimes seems to forget the part where the main characters are ten, as she usually writes characters at least in their late teens. The books, which take place in a completely different universe than Tortall and all of Tammy's other books, also break her usual modus operandi by adding a male protagonist to her list of overwhelmingly female characters.
As I don't want to completely review the book without rereading it yet, I fear I must bid you a farewell, abrupt as it may be. i should be done with the first few chapter's review soon. See you then!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Book Reviews

I am willing to review either a recommended book by my singular reader or one from this list:
  • Any book by Tamora Pierce (recommended, I own some and they are a good balance of Mary Sues and actually well written stories)
  • A Harry Potter book ( I already own all of them, but there's a good chance you'll lose me.)
  • An Artemis Fowl book (might be harder for me to review)
  • A Random Library Book, picked by my closing my eyes and pointing.
As this will be my first review, please hold off on recommending your favorite book until I grow more skilled. Do not recommend a well-written All-(insert country of choice) classic, as the point is to nitpick and review in a humorous fashion.

Friday, July 1, 2011

First and possibly last

Okay, so the last time I tried posting, I was set upon by Brontosaurus(es? I want to say eses). It seems unlikely, I know, I tried telling them that they were actually Apatosaurus(again, eses?) and Brontosaurus was just the popular but redundant synonym, but they wouldn't listen. They wanted good muffin recipes. Eventually it all degraded into a search for a lost 'golden cauliflower' and a bad 'Who's on First?' routine.Well, I sent those Brontosaurus(seriously, you'd think wikipedia might have something on this) packing. It was all very impressive, I assure you.

 The reason I say possibly last, however, is that the whole misadventure with the dinosaurs(finally, something I can properly pluralize) took about 20 minutes. After that I was distracted by a shiny thing in my web browser, and the next thing I knew I had several hours on Kingdom of Loathing and Dragonfable racked up. Even writing this blog I was diverted by looking up pictures of dinosaurs, catching a moth, and finding synonyms for distracted. ( One example: diverted.) This only happens near computers. I am often content to sit and read books for hours on end. While writing this sentence, I was again drawn to Kingdom of Loathing and nearly forgot about this entry's very existence. Then it happened again. See, I can't be trusted to update this stuff. If I do, expect amusing book reviews and paranoid ramblings. And then a bagpipe rendition of 'Yackety Sax' while various anthromoporphic items chase me around. The thing I am trying to get across is that you shouldn't expect much.